Three Sheets to the Wind

Davor Log - Entry 4
What has Davor really been doing

[Written in an elegant flowing script totally at odds with the Orcish words. Most of which appear to be a jumble of meaningless connected phrases. However, a DC 17 Linguistics check can decipher the code and translate the actual message below into Aklo.]

Date: Sarenith, 4711 AR

My friends do not really know me, and I don’t think they are ready to accept a change even as simple as my new grasp of language, let alone what else I have learned. To them, I am Davor Foecrusher, but that is not the name I was born with, though I did not know this until recently.

Since my last log entry I’ve been attending classes in secret. I study the ways of the people of The Shackles, their societies and their secret behaviors, but I started with a study of the creatures who live below. The aberrations, the dark fey and the creatures of the underdark were a topic I took to after the experience rescuing Sandra Quinn on Ghoul Island. It was Sandra, in fact, who gave me my first book. That book lead to others, and before long I learned about private schools available all over the different isles and cities of my home. Strangely, though, it was my study of Linguistics that lead me to learn of my true heritage.

My mother raised me with very little knowledge of my father, except for claims that “the evil” from his blood had given me the monster’s face I grew up with. She always said that if I lead a good life, good as she taught it, I would remain myself and I wouldn’t turn into more of a monster. I wouldn’t turn into more of an orc. But the thing is, it was she, and not my father, who was the orc.

I know this from a study of linguistics. Mom taught me common, so my speech patterns were all from her. But the sentence structure and formatting I learned is all based on orcish.

[Unencrypted and in the Common tongue.] When Davor talk Davor like, stuff make sense more.

[Once again in decoded Aklo.] See, the orcish language uses active forms of most verbs, regardless of actual tense, and objects are—well, the explanation is fairly dry, but suffice to say, the above is a perfect example of orcish sentence structure translated into the common tongue.

Unfortunately, from all this, I only have more questions. If mom was a “human looking” half-orc, what was dad? Even more confusing, if mom taught me everything I know about right and wrong, but she lied doing it, how can I know the difference? Finally, who was my father, and what happened to him?

I need to make my way back to that Sodden Lands brothel. Who knows, maybe the guest book will have some clues? I can’t bring this up with the others yet. Glythar doesn’t care about such things, he believes he’s a god, and who knows, it might be true. Oglaf just doesn’t care about human origins, he’s more of a bird than a man. Elaine, well, she might be sympathetic but, most likely unable to help. She’s probably the right one to talk to first, though.

[The rest of the entry is written in common, without code.]

Davor go to turkey eating and miss fun ship time. Guess G free Captain now. Need swear fealty, so not think Davor threat. No want fight with G or O or E. Davor hear all about big party then get invited to new party with cute Tessa redhead. Cuter than E maybe. G and E stay with her after party. Davor never get fun. Oh well, Davor maybe get fun time at House of Stolen Kisses while on hunt for spy.

Davor log end now with new Davor song, uh, what am word? Song part. Davor like thing be in part. Ha ha.

Davor, put the mash on bad man,
Davor poke whole in him.
Gushy, tasty blood on Davor,
Hunt smash, crunch, lash, fight, bite, bite.

Davor Log - Entry 3
Jokes am funny

Davor go back and read previous Davor log. Davor know man-book on man-writing make Davor words look bad. Davor am now use only good words in man-tongue. Good words am action words. Other tenses am dumb and bored. Okay? Okay.

Davor forget what date now, but still same year, and winter time. Maybe Davor birthday soon.

First Davor and G and E and O all sail to lucky rock place and G get married in big grog party. Davor have good time. Well, Davor think have good time. Davor so drunk Davor not remember. G say Davor turn into demon and eat lucky rock fighters, but, G probably not am truthful. Anyway, then Davor and others all sail to map where treasure from other pirate am hid.

Davor am speared dragon! Davor so strong that dragon panic and fly away to mom. It obvious because when it fly it call for mom. Davor laugh at puny dragon, ha ha. But then G say leave before mom come back. That why G captain.

Oh, Davor almost forget about magic pool make hurts gone. Meet other woman who jump off cliff, and then other big dragon fly away. Davor figure out that woman am dragon too, but not tell G or E or O because Davor keep that to self.

Uh, Davor still have page left so maybe tell joke he been work on.

An elf a dwarf and a orc walk into a pub. Elf walks up orders wine. Everyone laugh at stupid elf. Ha ha ha!

Knock knock? Who there? Davor! Davor who? DAVOR KNOCK YOU ON FACE.

A dwarf an elf and a Davor walk into a bar. The dwarf order ale and the elf order applesauce. Davor order butter and have roast dwarf with apple-elf. Ha ha ha!

Okay, Davor hear few other good ones. Try to write down so remember for grog-meal.

How many Paladins does it take to light a torch?
One to strike the flint, and another to “uphold the light.”

Davor not sure why funny, but everyone laugh, so Davor try to remember. The rest funniest.

Why do elves have pointy ears?
There have to be some point to elves.

How many elves does it take to sharpen a sword?
Three. One to sharpen the sword and two to write a song about it so that when the first elf is done, four hundred years later, they’ll remember whose sword it was.

Why do the elves not grow facial hair?
What? and not be mistaken for a lovely woman?

How many Half-elves does it take to light a candle?
Surprisingly only 1. It turns out that half-elves are good for something after all.

How many Elves does it take to light a candle?
Three. One to sing, one to dance, one to summon the spiritual guardian of joyous flame forth into the realm material.

Zee Ooffffeeciel Lug ooff zee Trooe-a Edfentoores ooff Ooglaff

In common:

Zee Ooffffeeciel Lug ooff zee Trooe-a Edfentoores ooff Ooglaff
Sun ooff zee Thoonder Gud
Shemun ooff hees clun (oon sebbeteecel)
Coorrently fiking in zee Sheckles

In druidic:
If you can read this section written in the secret code, you are a brother druid. Know then that I am Oglaf, son of Lord Thor, The Thunder Maker. Probably. In any event, I am SO totally into thunder. Storms are awesome! The ship rocking, the sky lighting up and the sea swirling around—this is what nature is all about!

I stopped writing in common because there are some unsavory types on board. Not surprising, since we’re all pirates. Back home that was an honored profession, but here in the south it attracts a pretty funny lot. Anyway, can’t ever be too suspicious. I learned that early. Thanks a lot Uncle Ralph. Some of these folks can’t appreciate privacy at all. My friends, the other officers are all OK—I trust my brother well enough, and I didn’t find any plots in Davor’s or Elaine’s journals—but with all the turnover in the crew, who knows.

A lot has happened lately. Elaine stepped down as captain and talked Glythar into talking over. She said she was tired of dealing with all the crew’s whining, but I think she mostly wanted to get him out of the kitchen. I’m used to his lutefisk-and-tripe casserole, but I have to admit it’s not half as good as mom used to make. On the other hand he’s a shameless braggart, which is really good for our sea-cred. In the meantime, Elaine and I still do most of the fun stuff, like steering the ship and shouting orders to the crew working the sails, but all the “wah wah I want to sail in the OTHER direction wah wah I’m a big piraty baby” stuff rolls up to Glyth.

I made a big tactical error recently. I volunteered as a hostage for the good conduct of the other officers. I figured no big deal, when Davor accidentally bit through somebody I’d just fly out a of a window. They put me in a cell without windows. Seriously, how did I not see that coming? Not doing that again until I figure out how to literally be a fly on the wall. Shouldn’t be long. I am learning so much cool stuff lately! I killed my first enemy with a lightning bolt yesterday! Soooooooooo awesome!

I’ve been working hard to learn more about my divine heritage. Mom says our father was Thor, and Glythar and I both totally inherited bad-ass thunderstorm powers. But to be honest, our father hasn’t really talked to us since then. I understand this is fairly typical behavior for a god, so that’s OK. But different aspects of him are worshipped differently in different places, and I want to find the one that’s best for me. A sailor from Tian told me about Raijin, who makes thunder by beating upon giant drums. That doesn’t sound right to me, because neither Glythar nor I have ever had a good sense of rhythm. Not that that stops him from all that shirtless techno-dancing.

I’m very intrigued though by the divine form known as Gozreh. I’ve spent some time talking to Sandra about him, and he definitely sounds like Dad. I’m going to spend more time meditating upon him while staring out at the sea and the sky, and we’ll see what happens.

That’s all for now. I’m going to chat up that redheaded half-elf chick who signed on at Blood Cove, and who’s been giving me the eye. Ah, once they go peg, they never renege!

Captain's Log - Neth 22nd

Morning – Night Watch all clear, no incidents. Sea is choppy, sky smells of rain. Wind is NE about 8 knots. My reign as Captain, while unexpcted, appears to be a successful one. While we stuggled under Elaine, we seem favored since I have taken the deck. 3 ships plundered and salvaged to boot in but a month’s time. We have fought and defeated a ship of the damned and repelled bucanneer’s who thought themselves the hardier of our lot. Surely I thought the path of the goding to be one of a solitary destiny, but perhaps it is my fortune to lead men. I seem well enough suited to the task. The brute, Davor is I think an asset that will remain loyal to me as long as I continue to be fearless and just in our efforts as marauders. The dimwit hs a certain nobility hiding behind those pig eyes of his. There may be no better beast to hav at you back than he when it comes to a fight.

I worry for my brother and his wandering ways. He is ever discontent it seems. As we settle to this new life aboard ships as Officers and men of responsibility, I fear his spirit spirit will ever call him to wander from the path. As our father’s blood courses through us, much as I am the Thunder and the Lightning, he is the Wind and the Rain. He will not easily be kept confined t a life aboard ships. I catch him looking with stormy eyes over the open sea and fear one day he will simply take the shape of an eagle and not return. Such is his way.

I do not know what to do with these priests and shamans. Elaine likewise seems an enigma. A first she stood as Captain, but her quest for a connection with the divine seems to isolate her in some way. Much like Oglaf, they seem isolated by attempting to get in contact with the divine. It seems somehow to make them lost within themselves. It is a path I do not understand. I have offered her my bed and as of so far, she has refused. She is a fine enough looking woman and of a pleasant demeanor, but I worry also of her presence as an unclaimed woman taking the role of an Officer on our ship. To be the Captain’s woman is a position that is clearly off limits to even a crew of cut throats such as ours. While I do not fear much for her safety as she is formidable in her own right, I am concerned about her presence causing unrest amongst the men. It is unfortunate that women so rarely see the practicality in such things, but I suspect her witchery must demand she remain frigid. It may be prudent for me to have her declare her barrenness and kill one of the men in the name of her Goddess when the opportunity arises in order to quell such stirring in the ranks. It is not easy to be a leader of men, but the sea shall churn and the wind blow.

Davor Log - Entry 2
Got dates now

Davor wrong about year but right about month. Davor log last be 4710 AR. Oh, maybe be Lamashan because Davor starting new log in almost Neth. Maybe Davor make stupid month up, okay? Shut up. Anyway, Davor ship called Rolling Thunder. Davor say ship call Davor, but G not like. Uh, Davor get side-track, so stop now.

Wealday, Lamashan 4710 – Davor see sail off horizon. E say no follow but then say follow. Davor think stupid boat too fast and Davor right.

Moonday, Lamashan 4710 – Boat get away, but see scary ghost boat. No not same boat, different boat. Common too hard, Orc have more now words, much more less boring!

Oathday, Lamashan 4710 – Today ghost boat supposed to come sink boat. No not own boat, Davor boat! G sail Davor boat, uh Rolling Thunder, all night to get close to land. Davor not think smart. Davor think you not want swim, you no be sailor. Davor also think you not want swim, you no lose own boat. Duh.

Davor log too hard to find date of day so Davor skip. Davor maybe want make new style. Davor read in man book about different person. Davor not understand different person, but maybe Davor try. Book say Davor not refer Davor as Davor but instead use funny line or me. Why me refer as single letter only? So puny. Oh fine, Davor, uh, I, try now.

Sunday, Lamashan 4710 – Davor crew sink pirate ghost boat! Davor die. Uh, mean, I die, almost. I read book about pirate boat many. Getting better at word making now. We, means Davor and friend and friend, all get much loot. Also magic chest that have lots space inside. Like, maybe big as ship.

Now month Neth, and G sail us to Tidewater Rock but no luck. Lady there no like old captain, but not like Davor we enough to make deal. G sail out to sea again, find stupid boat got away.

Neth 6, 4710 – I board other boat and got other boat. Then G say punch crew, so Davor punch. Then G get mad but not say why. I no understand G, uh, he sometime.

Neth 11, 4710 – G take new boat back to port. Sell for plunder. Men happy. Davor, uh, mean me, happy. G spend long time try make G seem best. Boring.

Davor sick of new person style. Davor think man book dumb and bored. Why book be so follow rules? Who make dumb rules of dumb write words anyway? Davor bite him in face. Davor already try bite through ship deck. Oh, Davor get ahead. Davor and Rolling Thunder get attack by pirate from Devil’s Pallor but win. Davor think fighting not go good.

Maybe E did good but too busy pilot to make Davor strong. O make shocking and G make many of self. Davor fight manticore and not eat any! Oh and O use trick to not feed Davor with birds! Davor life very hard.

G take boat and make Devil’s Thunder new boat, then sell old ship. Davor want many ship navy, but G say no. Davor think G never been pirate before. Then G spend lots of day talking about how G is best and G crew is best and G boat is best. Davor think people start listen, but why have take so many time?

Davor at least get spend time in bar. Oh, scary! Davor think E try to mate Davor, see drawing of Davor. Davor not no how tell E that Davor not mate human. Mom say Davor no bring evil, which mean orc, into world or Davor be curse. So Davor note mate E unless she orc already. Maybe? No.

Uh, date now near end of Kuthona 4710. Maybe we go find bury treasure?

Elaine's "Journal"

[doodle of Elaine as Lady of Tidewater Rock]

[doodle of Glythar dancing]
Caption: So long as he remains shirtless.

[doodle of Davor after winning drinking contest]
Caption: I always bet on Davor.

[doodle of Oglaf being chased by shark]
Caption: Oglaf’s No-Good-Very-Bad-Day :(

[doodle of Elaine during sacking of Devil’s Palor]

Note to self: acquire pistols.
Other note: learn to use guns.

Love, Elaine

Elaine's Journal

[doodle of Elaine playing poker with Besmara]

[doodle of Mr. Plug hanging from a spit over a fire and Elaine laughing in the background]

[doodle of Elaine wearing her spiffy magic hat and waving around 2 pistols]

[doodle of Besmara in her underwear]

[doodle of Elaine lying on bed of gold coins with gorgeous Mwangi men fanning her]


Love, Elaine

Davor Log - Entry 1
Davor starting journal

This property of Davor. You no read unless you Davor or Davor say okay. Okay. This be Davor journal to keep notes for self later. Davor jot notes on back of rope, but rope get used, so some be harder to remember.

Toilsday – Davor not like stinky fish gut soup. Maybe Davor should have taken job in kitchen. Davor think climbing be too hard for others. Davor have friend maybe now.

Moonday – Ow. Davor head hurt. Davor drink too much.

Fireday – Stupid Plug make Davor fight stupid Bear. Not real bear, Owlbear. Not real owlbear neither. Just stupid bear. Davor have black eye, and bloody nose, and bruise on lip now. Davor want strangle stupid Plug with own whip.

Uh. Whoops. Davor not write down when things happen specific enough and lots of time pass now. Davor not remember, but Davor think it fall. Davor try to do better from now on. Davor and friends going on boat with Plug as boss. This not going to go well for Davor and friends.

Wealday, night, half-moon – Davor hear Ellane talk to Sandra that boat not go right way. Maybe Plug betray captain. Elayne say captain bad though and keep remind Davor about push woman into water. Maybe Elaine right. But still Plug not should take boat away from port.

Fireday, morning, uh, no moon – Davor and Gli..Glai..G’thar and Ela..Ella..smudged ink okay, look, stupid long words hard and take too long. Davor have friends named G-L-Y-T-H-A-R, E-L-A-I-N-E and O-G-L-A-F. Davor call them G, E and O, okay? Okay. Davor and friends G, E and O go to island to get water. Davor tell Plug he stupid because Davor see E make water. No not like that stupid, she make magic clean water with magic.

Uh oh. Davor still not write down much. Maybe Davor should find out date. Anyway, Davor and friends free of Plug now! Davor throw fire at Plug while he make stupid speech. Davor hate long talking. Boring. Anyway, Davor fight everybody and win. G helped good too. E made Davor wounds close and O make lots of birds, but then make birds go away before Davor eat any. Davor think maybe O should go back to Ghoul Island and starve for a while so him know value of food better.

Oathday, Rova month – Davor and friends head to squib dock in own ship! Davor have to scare some crew into work hard, but that ok, not like slaves. Davor let them go if get to port. Davor like new friends, nobody want slaves.

Starday, Rova month – Davor and friends in port and get ship squib. E and G recruit crew then be time for explore island. Funny little squib man remind Davor of Uncle Jameson at Davor mom’s. Well, cane a lot similar anyway, except no hitting with cane. New ship going to have secret hidey hole! Davor so happy, Davor love new friends!

Moonday, Rova month maybe – Davor and friends get back from tracking down snake person lair. Davor never tell nobody, but Davor think swim-fighting too hard. Maybe Davor learn how to hold breath more. Oh no, big bugs!

Uh. Davor forget to write down year. Davor think year is 4711 AR. Uh, busy coouple days. Big stinging bugs attack port town. Davor and G save daughter but Davor have to hold guts inside after chopped open by bugs. Davor on ship again. Ship called Rolling Thunder. Davor more logs later.

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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