Three Sheets to the Wind

Davor Log - Entry 2

Got dates now

Davor wrong about year but right about month. Davor log last be 4710 AR. Oh, maybe be Lamashan because Davor starting new log in almost Neth. Maybe Davor make stupid month up, okay? Shut up. Anyway, Davor ship called Rolling Thunder. Davor say ship call Davor, but G not like. Uh, Davor get side-track, so stop now.

Wealday, Lamashan 4710 – Davor see sail off horizon. E say no follow but then say follow. Davor think stupid boat too fast and Davor right.

Moonday, Lamashan 4710 – Boat get away, but see scary ghost boat. No not same boat, different boat. Common too hard, Orc have more now words, much more less boring!

Oathday, Lamashan 4710 – Today ghost boat supposed to come sink boat. No not own boat, Davor boat! G sail Davor boat, uh Rolling Thunder, all night to get close to land. Davor not think smart. Davor think you not want swim, you no be sailor. Davor also think you not want swim, you no lose own boat. Duh.


Davor log too hard to find date of day so Davor skip. Davor maybe want make new style. Davor read in man book about different person. Davor not understand different person, but maybe Davor try. Book say Davor not refer Davor as Davor but instead use funny line or me. Why me refer as single letter only? So puny. Oh fine, Davor, uh, I, try now.

Sunday, Lamashan 4710 – Davor crew sink pirate ghost boat! Davor die. Uh, mean, I die, almost. I read book about pirate boat many. Getting better at word making now. We, means Davor and friend and friend, all get much loot. Also magic chest that have lots space inside. Like, maybe big as ship.


Now month Neth, and G sail us to Tidewater Rock but no luck. Lady there no like old captain, but not like Davor we enough to make deal. G sail out to sea again, find stupid boat got away.

Neth 6, 4710 – I board other boat and got other boat. Then G say punch crew, so Davor punch. Then G get mad but not say why. I no understand G, uh, he sometime.

Neth 11, 4710 – G take new boat back to port. Sell for plunder. Men happy. Davor, uh, mean me, happy. G spend long time try make G seem best. Boring.


Davor sick of new person style. Davor think man book dumb and bored. Why book be so follow rules? Who make dumb rules of dumb write words anyway? Davor bite him in face. Davor already try bite through ship deck. Oh, Davor get ahead. Davor and Rolling Thunder get attack by pirate from Devil’s Pallor but win. Davor think fighting not go good.

Maybe E did good but too busy pilot to make Davor strong. O make shocking and G make many of self. Davor fight manticore and not eat any! Oh and O use trick to not feed Davor with birds! Davor life very hard.

G take boat and make Devil’s Thunder new boat, then sell old ship. Davor want many ship navy, but G say no. Davor think G never been pirate before. Then G spend lots of day talking about how G is best and G crew is best and G boat is best. Davor think people start listen, but why have take so many time?

Davor at least get spend time in bar. Oh, scary! Davor think E try to mate Davor, see drawing of Davor. Davor not no how tell E that Davor not mate human. Mom say Davor no bring evil, which mean orc, into world or Davor be curse. So Davor note mate E unless she orc already. Maybe? No.

Uh, date now near end of Kuthona 4710. Maybe we go find bury treasure?

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